5 steps and 3 rules that help you stay on track and actually achieve the goals that matter to you

Hey, I'm Aleksandr Kosenko. I've spent years digging into planning systems and frameworks that help you stay the course. I'm an entrepreneur building projects at the intersection of marketing, content, and automation—while constantly working on maintaining long-term focus. Read more about outsmart your monkey brain.

Keeping long-term goals in focus is a challenge I face, and so do most people I know. I don't build projects on quick sprints—I'm in it for the marathon. That's why I'm always testing different approaches and collecting tools that help preserve energy, maintain momentum, and actually achieve what I set out to do. Read more about Key takeaways from the course wrap-up.

The Starting Point: A Simple Exercise That's a Real Wake-Up Call

If you're still not sure where to begin, try this very practical exercise. Read more about ways to track habits effectively.

1. Take a sheet of paper and divide it in half.
2. On the left, write down 10 of your goals.
3. On the right—describe what your typical day actually looks like: what you do, where your time goes.
4. Look for overlaps.

If there aren't any, that's a major red flag. It means your daily life and your "goal map" don't align at all.

At that point, the issue isn't willpower—it's that you need to restructure your routine, your environment, or even the goals themselves so they intersect in at least a few places.

Step 1. Figure Out What You Actually Want

Real goal-setting doesn't start with a planner—it starts with an honest answer to yourself: "Do I actually want this?"

Learning English, launching a project, changing jobs, hitting the gym—these can be your goals if they're rooted in your interests and your life.

But if a goal was pushed on you by your parents, partner, or boss, your motivation crumbles at the first sign of stress. It's crucial to separate "I want" from "I should, because that's what people do." You can't run a marathon on someone else's dreams.

Step 2. Accept That the Journey Is a Series of Sustained Efforts

At some point, I heard this from a Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt:

"In jiu-jitsu, the person who wins is the one who just keeps showing up to train."

It's the same with planning and goals. Time will pass regardless. The only question is whether you'll spend that time taking small steps toward what matters—or stay exactly where you are.

Step 3. Look at Procrastination From a Different Angle

Procrastination isn't just the enemy—it's also a signal. Yes, it pulls you away from important tasks. But sometimes, while you're "putting off the main thing," you're still doing something useful: organizing notes, tidying up projects, knocking out small loose ends.

I keep a "someday/maybe" list—tasks I get to precisely during these moments. It beats endlessly scrolling social media.

But you can't get stuck in that mode. If you live in "later" for too long, focus and creativity tank, and you'll never reach flow state (when time flies by unnoticed). Flow requires low background stress, and a head full of unfinished business only cranks that stress up higher.

Step 4. Start With the Smallest Possible Step

If you don't know how to tackle a big goal, shrink the task down to something almost ridiculous:

• Who can I text or call right now?
• Where can I find one useful article on this topic?
• What's the tiniest piece of this task I can knock out in 10–15 minutes?

When I was in college, I had to write a 190-page thesis. It felt like I'd never find the time.

At first, I just started dumping chunks of information I needed for the thesis straight into a document. When the final semester hit, I promised myself I'd open that "Frankenstein" every single day, scroll through it, and write whatever caught my eye.

Pretty quickly, I went from total chaos and blank-page paralysis to energized work: adding sections, rewriting blocks. This gave my brain something to chew on every day, processing information at high speed even while I slept.

Before long, I no longer had the problem of "what to write about." Instead, I felt excited and genuinely interested in making the thesis better: reorganizing sections here, making the narrative more logical there, finding the right research to back up my points.

That thesis—something most students dread—actually sparked my curiosity and drive, thanks to small daily work and consistency. I didn't have to grind myself down with sheer willpower. Instead, I enjoyed the process and leveled up my knowledge significantly in just one semester.

Big tasks can almost always be broken into small ones. The key isn't finding the perfect plan—it's giving yourself permission to take that first, even modest, step.

Step 5. Use Simple Planning Tools

I rely on a few practices you can adapt to fit your own style.

Tool 1. Picture the Result at Multiple Levels

First, describe the ideal outcome: what would a "10 out of 10" look like for this goal?

Then honestly ask yourself—especially if you're a perfectionist like me:

• What "grade" or level of completeness does this task actually need?
• Not what I want ideally, but what's realistically necessary?

This way you see not just the maximum, but also a realistic, acceptable level of results. It dials down perfectionism and creates room for flexibility.

Tool 2. Risk List: What Could Go Wrong

We often ignore risks because they're uncomfortable. But if you name them upfront, you can prepare for them.

• What might stop me from moving toward this goal?
• Where do I usually fall off the wagon?
• What external factors could interfere?

Answering these questions helps you not fall apart at the first curveball.

Tool 3. Honest Motivation Scale

On a scale from 1 to 10, rate how much you actually want to achieve this goal.

Anything below 7 is a warning sign. Either the goal isn't really yours, or the framing is wrong, or the timing is off.

I try not to spend resources on projects that feel like "5 or 6 out of 10" inside. They almost always stall out halfway through.

At first, this was incredibly painful. I have a massive backlog of ideas, I have ADHD, I'm a "scanner"—everything interests me, I want to do it all. By 26, I'd burned out so badly that I lost interest in almost everything and spent four months recovering my health.

Then, painfully, I started ruthlessly crossing off ideas or shelving them in the "someday" drawer. Time moves forward, and "someday" quickly becomes irrelevant. This process wrecked me for about two years.

But now I'm thriving, because I'm doing things that genuinely matter and interest me. And I'm doing them more fully, without spreading myself thin, while actually protecting my health.

Rule 1. Flexibility Over Rigid Control

I write down my goals in a notebook every workday. By evening, I've usually made progress on 3–5 goals to varying degrees, since I mostly work on several small projects at once.

But goals and projects pile up way beyond that. Throughout the week, I use my original list and either cross things off or rewrite them onto a new page if something gets lost in the shuffle.

By the end of the workweek, I'm looking at unfinished goals that I've lived with—during which a lot has changed. I review everything and cross off many uncompleted items because they've "expired" over the week.

I gave myself permission to call a day successful if I moved forward on at least one important goal. Or made what feels like a meaningful step on 2–4 projects.

This reduces internal pressure and gives you a chance to keep going instead of throwing in the towel after the first "failed" day.

I really liked a character I created—a martial arts coach—when I was writing a series of short stories. It's partly a projection of myself, sure, but I'm convinced this character grew out of the people around me. So I'll include him here.

His students called him a legend: "The Switch—three strikes and it's over, never lost a fight." But he'd show them the scars on his hands and say: "Every scar is a fight I lost. My first loss took thirty seconds. What did I do? Got up. Wiped off the blood. Went back to training."

A failed day is just a fight you lost. You get up, look at where you went wrong, and keep going. A failed day is like a bruised knuckle. Not a disgrace. Just data.

Planning isn't being enslaved to your calendar. It's a way to choose exactly where you spend your time and attention.

In reality, planning is freedom. Without it, you become a hostage to procrastination, moods, coworkers, your boss, and random tasks.

Planning pulls you out of that web: you know what you need, you know what to do, and you can push back on your boss's new assignment by honestly explaining your priorities. In my experience, this works about 90% of the time.

But if you don't know your plan and can't quickly articulate what matters to you right now—the moment your eyes start darting around in confusion is exactly when you get handed that extra assignment.

Rule 2. Balance Is a Myth That Only Gets in Your Way

Perfect "balance" between work, family, friends, health, and personal growth doesn't exist. You can't be brilliant in every role simultaneously, every single day.

But you can stretch out your evaluation window. Instead of asking yourself every night, "Was I a superhero today?"—look at periods of a month or a year.

You can accomplish a huge amount in a year if you stop demanding perfection from yourself on any given day.

It's important to regularly reflect:

• What did I do well?
• What flopped?
• What lessons am I taking into the next round?

If a task keeps getting postponed forever, there's only one honest question: do I even need this? Sometimes it's easier to cross it off than to keep dragging it around like a rock in your backpack.

Rule 3. A Personal Reminder

For a long time, my phone's lock screen had this question:

"Am I moving toward my goals?"

Or a screenshot of notes with my current goals and such.

Eventually, it just became visual noise—like any other attempt to jolt yourself in the moment and constantly remind yourself of what matters.

If that works for you—great. If not, try my notebook approach or a Sunday ritual of reviewing the past week and planning the next one. Maybe for you it's Monday morning.

Bottom line: forget about doing it "the right way." Find what works for you. Nothing else matters.

That question—"Am I moving toward my goals?"—is a very simple filter. Just one line, but it brings back focus. Especially in moments when you're tempted to fall into procrastination, arguments, or endless small stuff.

If you can ask yourself this question even occasionally, that's already powerful. The question is simple, but it requires reflection—and reflection takes time.

Goals aren't about perfect planning. They're about honestly choosing a direction, taking small steps, and being willing to go easier on yourself—without letting go of what truly matters to you.