To be cool today, tomorrow, and always, you need just three things:

1. A life goal.
2. Movement toward the goal.
3. Overcoming circumstances.

All of this can be gradually organized.

Life Goal

Every cool professional I've met along my way has one or several goals. But a good goal isn't "World peace" or "No more war" - it's the answer to this question: how do I want to see my life in 3-5 years?

This goal contains all components of coolness:

• The goal concerns the person themselves, not the whole world. Because you can influence yourself directly, but the world only indirectly. Act within your circle of influence, as Covey said.
• A 4-5 year horizon is no longer about immediate needs, but not yet about impossible global plans. For me it's actually 5 years, especially now, but it's always been that way. 3 years, from my perspective, is only for extremely high-performing people, and even then I'm not sure it's healthy. I have questions about their happiness along the journey and burnout when reaching their goals.
• The word "want" has positive energy. Not "must," not "will," but specifically "want." I actually got so lost after forced relocation, I completely lost my sense of self after some time, and was spinning inside some strange circus with meter-high restrictions and signs saying "must," "should," "don't dream of more," "all opportunities are closed to you."

For example, you might set this goal: "In five years, I have a house by the sea, I work from my home office; I have strong, reliable relationships; my income level allows me not to look at price tags in stores."

You don't necessarily have to reach exactly this goal: you'll constantly refine your goal as you better understand yourself and your needs. But at any moment, a cool person will have some kind of goal. In general, you will.

You don't have to set one goal for your entire life. Over time, the goal can change. For example, the hero thought he wanted to live in Cancun on the Caribbean coast, but gradually realized that what he actually needed was to live by Lake Pátzcuaro in the state of Michoacán.

This is normal because we grow up, learn new things, develop new needs, and our understanding of the world becomes more precise.

Movement Toward the Goal

To understand what your genuine goals are, it's enough to look at your actions. It's not so important what you say, what you think about, or what you write on social media - that's worth nothing, it's just informational noise from lack of reflection, consuming ready-made solutions. Look at what you do every day.

There's a great exercise, it seems very simple at first glance, but it's very difficult to execute. Few people succeed on the first try without professional help. But here it is: if you had an unconditional basic income, say 2000€ or 5000$ per month, depending on where you live, what would you do then? If you think you'd rest, then yes, the first week or month, depending on how tired you are. But then? Rest again? Unlikely, currently such people account for only 1 to 3 percent. And since you're here reading this text, this definitely isn't about you.

In general, when you can completely free yourself from all fears about maintaining life with money, at some point you'll see it, what you'd really like to do. Genuinely. All that remains is to figure out how to earn from it.

But let's return to reality.

Let's take the hero who decided to move to Cancun on the Caribbean coast. Here's how to understand that this is his genuine goal:

• He has a list of cities where he theoretically would like to live
• He has planned tourist trips to these cities: bought tickets, booked hotels, thought through all the movements. When you invite him somewhere, he sometimes says: "Oh, at that time I'll be in Mexico, I'm checking out the city."
• He got all possible vaccinations and learned everything about food poisoning in these regions and how to deal with it, and also analyzed how well local products suit him.
• And so on: he's processing documents, talking to realtors, visiting consulates, and generally keeping busy.

If a person is only thinking about emigration, it's probably not their genuine goal. But this can be understood.

Overcoming Circumstances

This is easiest to see through an example.

You invite a friend for a burger in the evening. And the friend says: "I'm watching my diet right now, so no burger for me, but I'd love to see you, I'll bring my own tasty steamed patties." And you think: "Cool jerk, sticking to his guns." That's what overcoming circumstances is. A sign of a cool person.

Identifying the breaking point:

• Your goal is something you don't have now but want. For example, a beautiful, fit body.
• Your life so far has proceeded in circumstances where the goal wasn't being met. For example, all your friends eat burgers in the evenings.
• Therefore, any goal by its very nature will require you to change circumstances - the very ones that have kept this goal from being achieved so far. The point of failure, breaking, change, or beginning. Whatever you prefer to call it.
• There are two options here: to resist, come to your friend and watch him enjoy his burger while you drink tea, or to overcome - plan your day so you have a container with diet food with you, or try to skip lunch and move the meeting to a restaurant where you can order a tasty grilled chicken breast with asparagus or whatever you like.
• In any case, something will have to change, and it will likely require effort.

A person who decided to move to Mexico will face resistance from bureaucracy, family, and friends. Imagine: you're in Europe or America (the country), dating someone and you have a great love; but you want to go to Mexico, and this person is categorically against it. How's that for circumstances?

A person who wanted to live by the sea will face resistance at work and in daily life. It's no wonder they haven't taken a vacation in over a year: they're needed at work, they're well paid here, they find it interesting; they have their household here, pets, parents, and friends. No one's going to kick them out on vacation.

Downsides in the Lives of Cool People

The heavy burden of successful people, or why being cool isn't just about having a "Ferrari" in the garage You know, you look at these successful people: they have money, they have time, photos from the Maldives every month... Beautiful! Career - cosmic, family - picture perfect. You just want to go up and ask: "So how is it there in paradise?"

And they respond: "Well, you know, paradise existence is when you sleep four hours, have forgotten the taste of homemade borscht, and your therapist is already seeing their own therapist." Being cool is like wearing high heels: everyone admires how beautifully you walk, but no one sees the blisters. And the price of this coolness is so high that not every bank would give you a loan for it.

That's why uncool people are the majority - it's not laziness, it's common sense and self-preservation instinct. You can live peacefully, without chasing the ghost of success, and be happy.

But here arises a philosophical question worthy of ancient Greeks: if the price of coolness is sleepless nights and stomach ulcers, then what's the price of UNcoolness? Maybe it's those evenings with borscht that successful people trade for meetings? Or the ability to sleep eight hours without thoughts about stock prices?

As always, I invite you to share your opinion in the comments
With love 😽 🤗 😘
K